My childhood has many incredible memories and some memories no child should ever experience. I am a daughter of an abusive alcoholic parent. Lucky for me, it was only verbal abuse; other family members felt the touch of the hand. Don’t get me wrong, verbal abuse is very lasting and shapes how you allow others to treat you. One of my challenges throughout my life was to remember I did nothing wrong and I don’t deserve to be treated poorly. As I got a little older I made a decision to never allow it to happen to me again. Making that decision took many years of trying to repair the relationship, only to get back to the same place. For many of my childhood years this parent called me dumb, fat, not worth it, snobby, insensitive, lazy, a bitch and even ungrateful. During my college years, I was told I was wasting my time because I was just getting pregnant and married and won’t work. (I did get married and pregnant, but only after being in the work force 10 years.)
Therapy and incorporating my faith into my daily practice has led me to believe the truth- I am worth it, I am smart, I am grateful, I can be anyone I want. And you know what, as a child of the Lord, I am loved by the Father and I am capable of being my best each day.
It is important to forgive those who wrong you. That does not mean you need to continue to allow the behavior. You have a right to say, “Enough! I am not going to listen to this and you can’t talk to me that way.” In some situations that might mean you end the relationship, which was my case. In others, the person might understand and work to change their behavior.
I want to share a song from Kirk Franklin that is very inspiring, he talks about how the past is gone, forgive, move on and Imagine God loves.
Until next time.
