Recently my oldest daughter, Delaney, put together some picture pages of stickers for some friends and her sister, Deanna. She was so excited, and frankly, so was I. She is not the selfless one of the bunch.
When Delaney gave the picture she made to Deanna, Deanna rejected it, saying, “No thank you, I am good.” My husband called her into the other room, reminding her of how generous the act was of making this picture just for her and how we should be grateful and take the present. This picture in particular had ballerinas on it and Deanna was the only ballerina Delaney knew. While Jarrod was speaking to Deanna about receiving a gift she did not want, I was coaching Delaney on how thankful Deanna was and that she was just tired. (She said, thank you—we have taught manners.) We all went to bed, present not received.
The next night Delaney tried to give her sister the present again. This time the response from Deanna was, “I said, No thank you. If I had wanted a picture of ballerinas I could have made one myself.” (That cut Jarrod and I with a knife, as much as Delaney this time. Let’s be a little honest though- coming from a 4 year old, there is a bit of comic to it.) We ended the night with three separate conversations: Jarrod talking to Deanna about people’s feelings when they do something nice for you; me talking with Delaney about how the thought was very nice and deep down Deanna is not trying to hurt her feelings; and lastly a conversation between Jarrod and I on how Deanna was being honest, how we can’t really punish for that, and how hard this lesson is to teach – to be thankful, just accept the present because of the nice gesture.
What a delicate balance this teaching moment is to accomplish the end results that fits all parties. These are the moments where I pause and thank God for the love and thoughtfulness Delaney is showing, for the honesty Deanna does not run from, and for the ability to coach the kids in these moments. Moments that should have been a quick exchange, but God decided to add an additional exchange for all of us. Seeing the blessings in these moments changes each day!
The apples don’t fall far from the tree. 😉