It is so easy to think about everything you should have done or could have done but talk about internal torture. Sure, we all have lessons to learn throughout our life, whether they are decisions on what company to work for, how to raise a child, to something as simple as not needing that last drink at the bar last night.
Instead of focusing on what I should have done or could have done, I try to focus on what I am going to do differently the next time and what I learned from that lesson. I like to rehash with friends and get them to weigh in on my decision and the outcome. By talking with friends and family, I usually take away the following:
- I had no way of knowing what the outcome was going to be.
- I get validation that it really was not as bad as I thought.
- I get validation that I made a poor choice, it was a bad choice.
In the end, I have to remind myself, bad choices are all about learning which is all a part of life. You have heard me quote Eleanor Roosevelt before, “You learn by doing”. What I say is this: when these moments happen to you, remember to be kind to yourself. Learn from the mistake and move on with your head high. The should have, could have will make you sick but the guilt will kill you.
