Not sure if you’ve heard this phrase before from your children, but, for me, it hurts and it calls for a moment of reflection. Here are the reasons in my house why I am a mean mommy:
- I did not let them have candy before dinner. OK, this time I am happy to be the mean mommy because at some point they will realize I was watching out for their health.
- I did not let them have a friend over after they were basically having a full-blown tantrum in front of me, probably because of #1. Again, I am fine to be a mean mommy in this case; I don’t want to promote bad behavior.
- I am in the middle of something, paying bills or working, and the girls interrupt me over and over and I become testy or annoyed. This is the one I am not ok with. I want to be there for my kids. I want my kids comfortable talking to me and to not feel like they are bothering me.
So I made some changes in my daily activities and #3 stopped happening. Instead of attempting to get everyone off to school while simultaneously checking email or paying bills, I get up much earlier than everyone else in the house and spend an hour or two taking care of my business. What I found with this change was I actually feel in control of my day. There is something so simple about getting up when it is still dark out, starting the coffee and easing into the craziness of normal life. The same applies in the evening hours. My children get my full attention until bedtime and then I close my day by tying up loose ends at work or taking care of household tasks.
What I have learned is I am not a mean mommy (thank God for that) but that something was not working and required reflection and adjustment.
I should also note, the first and last thing I do every day of my life, before starting the day or ending the day, is having a conversation with the Lord. More on that later…..
Mean Mommy is a good title = Your are doing your job as the authoritarian in molding your breed to be obedient, know what’s best for them and their physical health and moral well being; and be good social citizens.
As I always told my children: No one wants to be around brats! It’s Mean Mommy’s role to make sure you are nice, well adjusted kids so you do well, control your bad urges, and are pleasant to be around.
Your children are a reflection of you. See yourself and adjust accordingly, even into adulthood. You are the elder- it’s your life long job.
Love,
A still mean Mommy of a 30, 28 and 23 year old adult children
PS To this day they still remember mean Mommy encounters and laugh about their ridiculousness. They always end the story thanking me for making them better people. Soldier on Mean Mommies!