Recently Delaney has been having some anxiety. We have had a few firsts this summer. To name a few: She attended two new camps, started ice skating, and got braces. Each of these has come with tons of anxiety. The first new camp was the worst. She had stomach pains the night before, was a wreck when we arrived, and did not want me to leave. All day Jarrod and I wondered how she was doing and at dinner I think we all felt defeated when we learned she had not eaten lunch. She had gotten her lunchbox, went outside with everyone, and when she realized she knew no one, put her lunchbox back and sat on a swing instead.
I am not sure if you remember from a previously shared post that we role played with Deanna last year as she started a new school.Bless that child, Deanna instantly kicked into gear suggesting, “Let’s role play Delaney how to meet friends”.
We can’t discount the anxiety though, we need to address it as much as we can. At night, I lay with Delaney and ask her how the day was, how it made her feel, if she was anxious. I ask how that felt, why she thinks she felt that way. We are learning she lacks confidence in many cases. What is frustrating for me is that I have been teaching both my girls, all their lives, how to be confident, know they belong, how to make friends, how to embrace trying new things and it is ok if you are not good at it…
The most important message I received recently was a friend who said, “You need to meet them where they are.” You can’t use adult reasoning with a child. They are children regardless of how mature you believe they are.
Parenting is not easy, maybe the hardest thing I have done in my life so far, but the important thing for me is heading to bed each night believing I did my best to meet both girls, at their place.
