As I grow older, I am getting better at handling disappointment. However, I still have to remind myself when people disappoint me, it’s actually due to placing my own expectations on them without their input. Unless there’s an established communication playbook that outlines what we each expect/ provide in return for our friendship, how can we get mad when our needs or expectations are not met?
And if we are being honest, even if for years both parties played in between the lines of following the “rules”(I put quotes around the rules because I don’t think people have playbooks) when they fall out of line, should we not evaluate the larger picture? What is the actual state of the relationship, what are the optics in their daily life, what might be really going on with me where I might be projecting? Have we taken a minute to understand the bigger picture?
One word that comes to mind that can remove disappointment, it’s grace. If we all just give each other grace, we allow more room for happiness by letting go of expectations that were never actually established.
