It is one for the books in our house. When we say it is time to pull back on some commitments, no matter how much we want the train to continue to run at full speed, there is a feeling of disappointment from all parties, Deanna for wanting to do everything, and J and I for having to make the decision, regardless of whether it is the right one. For the child impacted, who feels like something she wanted has been ripped away in a bad game of tug-of-war, the parent’s pain of knowing it was the right thing doesn’t make any of it easier.
Through it all, J and I remind ourselves, we gave her enough rope either to succeed at everything or/and also learn the lesson without real damage to the outcome, if something needs to end, regardless of the yucky feeling, it is the right choice forward. I am confident every parent has experienced this. We want to let them do everything they want, but their commitments must all stay in the green; once something slips, a moment to reflect and pivot must happen before it is too late, and the consequences have a real impact.
We all want our kids to do everything they want to do, to feel so much joy that they are like balloons ready to pop, but we also need to know when the balloon is headed straight into a bush of flames. We can redirect.
